I was sailing through life, a self-obsessed true-to-the-bone Mumbaikar minding my own business, when out of nowhere a tornado struck me. And I fell for him hook, line and sinker.
Life has been a roller coaster since then. Not the kind they use to describe emotions in English language, the kind that leaves you screaming happily, heart beating until it promises to jump out of your skin. The kind that you enjoy and love.
He happens to be an Indori. Now to the rest of the Hindi-speaking world, that doesn’t ring a bell. Unless, you yourself are an Indori, or a non-Indori married to an Indori. Then it won’t ring bells, it will be the sound of a bend-baaja.
So how do you know if you have married an Indori?
- Your whole life is divided into two phases – before Indore and Indore.
- You make more pohe for breakfast in a month than you ever did in your whole life before Indore
- You learn that adding senv to any recipe is a perfectly legitimate way of having food. (I am only surprised they don’t add it to their chai)
- You learn that chapati-chivda can be a lovely wholesome meal.
- You ask your Indori what he loves from Indore and se or he can rattle off two hundred chaat items in a single breath.(Bhutte ka kees, Joshi ka dahiwada, aloo ki kachori, moong kachori, besan kachori, benjo, ‘bake’ samosa, chhole tikki, garaadu….)
- You learn that Saraafa and Chhappan are religious places for Indoris
- They are more proud of Rajwada than you will ever be of anything in your life
- They will always tell you that everything is cheaper and better in Indore
- No matter how many times you cross Nagar Nigam towards Shastri bridge, “Lata Mangeshkar was born here” will always be repeated.
- They will never stop telling you the names of all the celebrities who were born in Indore.
- They will make you eat Parshwanath ka Paan at least once
- And then they will tell you the story of Parshwanath Paanwala.
- They will never stop pointing at the ‘Indore cut-piece’ shops in Mumbai.
- If they want you to repeat a question they will simply say “Ey?”
- They will speak normal Hindi elsewhere but resort to their ‘O Bhiyao’ once they set foot in Madhya Pradesh
- Aa raha hoon, Jaa raha hoon will always be… aa riyaoon, jaa riyaaoon.
- Everyone will be ‘Yaar’… For eg., Yaar biwi, yaar beta, yaar baba, yaar bhabhi, yaar kaka…. and if they want to stress their point, yaar will be repeated… For eg., Yaar Ashish, yaar!
One fine day, when you find yourself yearning for Vijay Chaatwale ke Khobra Patties… you will know, you have married an Indori. And life will never be the same again.
It will be better!