The making itself was not as difficult as finding a good recipe. I didn’t find many recipes that were really good but Nigella Lawson’s Basic Chocolate cake recipe was good. So that is what I made for the basic cake. As far as the icing was concerned, there was the whipped cream which didn’t fluff up. There was the chocolate ganache topping which was heavenly but so darned messy you want to slap it. Then there was the decorating which didn’t go exactly as you see in all those videos you have been spoiling your eyesight over.
I even dreamed of making cake last night. That is to say, I failed to get any sleep at all. Not that I could sleep in the morning either. Getting up early is a bad habit. Everyone else is sleeping fast, and you are wandering around the house on tiptoes like a ghost, afraid to wake anyone up. What’s worse, a person who could sleep throughout the day without wanting to eat or drink anything, like me, is now so used to waking up early that the alarm rings about ten minutes after I am done brushing. It’s almost as if I am shushing the alarm to go back to sleep!
Then there is the news of one of my closest friends completing her post graduation. In dentistry. It is an achievement. I know, I am a post grad too. But it just doesn’t feel like it. Everyone else around me is going places, and I am stuck with a day that is nothing but home, family, peanuts-for-work job, and a blog. The blog is the only adventure I am having right now. But I am not sure if I am that good you know? There are so many other blogs with so much worth! There are so many good cooks in the world. What am I doing that is any different?
I know, the grass is always greener. There may be people around me who might be thinking that I am the luckiest girl alive to have such a great husband and a wonderful daughter. I feel that too, truly. But somewhere I think I strangled my career the day I got married, buried it when I got pregnant, and put a concrete slab on the grave when I delivered.
Husband is finally happy that I am keeping myself busy throughout the day. Mom in law is happy that I am finally waking up at 5.30 a.m. everyday. Saee isn’t too happy about me going to work. Mom is happy that I am happy. The truth is, I don’t know what I am doing. It’s as though I am walking through life with a blindfold on my eyes. Just trusting everyone else around me to show me the way. The only reason I keep myself busy throughout the day is so that I don’t have any time to think. That at the end of the day I am tired enough to be dead, and every morning I wake up from the dead.
There is something really soothing about knowing how your whole day is going to unfold. It is as soothing as knowing that the clock will tick and your life will tick with it, with alarming regularity.
The cake turned out okay. I am not sure if I am so much a cake person. I love cakes and I definitely want to make them. Maybe I must do a course. If anyone can suggest a good weekend course in Mumbai where I can learn how to make cakes and decorate them, please tell me people.
As far as this cake is concerned, today, instead of writing down the ingredients, I am going to post the link for Nigella’s recipe. This IS her recipe after all. I’ll just post the picture of my cake.